Easter 2016

In anticipation of all the chocolate I’m eating over Easter, I booked a spin class Easter morning. I went last week for the first time and despite feeling like I may never move again, in a perverse way I enjoyed it. So with that in mind I had masses of guilt free chocolate the night before while preparing the Easter trail from the bunny which led from their bedrooms to a couple of presents on the hall then more little eggs leading to a collection of big eggs on the kitchen table. I was excited for their excitement.

So when the shouts and squeals start early next morning that the bunny has been I’m delighted to see its 6.55am, wow nearly 7am. Then I remember the clocks went forward but I pretend they have slept in and keep the dream alive that we are making progress. Max cries he doesn’t like the wrapping paper, that he doesn’t want to get up (then please don’t??) and also he wants Ella’s present as his is rubbish- they are matching books and look identical. Keen not to start the day on a sour note the eggs are cracked open immediately before even leaving the bedroom and with a mouth of smarties Max is now my best friend and says I can come to his party.

We have some quality chocolate time in bed then when we run out we go downstairs. Max starts crying upon seeing half a chocolate rabbit whilst Ella has a full one. There is absolutely no reasoning with him and he won’t acknowledge that he stole his rabbit yesterday (from the poorly hidden bag of Easter goodies) and ate half of it under the table whilst I was dealing with Penny’s bum explosion. Screaming that I am a stupid old woman he throws himself back banging his head on he floor, I’m frantically trying to get a lamb hotpot done as well as pancakes and get to my spinning class as I’ve eaten a ridiculous amount of sugar. Max is heavily crying now, snot dripping onto his chocolatey face, him then rubbing it and putting his chubby hands everywhere leaving a brown trail while I’m shouting all the eggs are going in the bin and what would the easter bunny think of such silly behaviour. They prob thinking the Easter bunny is full of shit seeing as though they were threatened with him not coming at least 500 times for naughty behaviour yet voila, a chocolate feast is left on Easter morning.

Ella is using the commotion to her advantage and shoves as much chocolate into her mouth as possible until anyone can stop her and Penny is just looking around thinking what is the deal with these hysterical people. Lamb is sticking to the pan, pancakes are burning, serves me right for telling Kev I can make more pancakes out the ingredients than him. Look at the time, spinning starts in twenty minutes. Bollocks. I text them and say I’m not gonna make it and vow I have to go for a run seeing as though the sun shining. Breakfast is actually a success (by our admittedly low standards) so I get out on the road. Five minutes in and it starts spitting, interestingly its not putting me off, its spurring me on. Then like something out of a sci-fi film it all goes dark and the most aggressive sideways rain hits me in the face like knives. I jog on the spot wondering whether to turn back. Now the thing is, this is my one half an hour away from the kids all day. Sod it I’m going for it. Onwards I go, pitying looks from dog walkers wearing cagoules and drivers actually slowing down staring at the mad woman looking like she’s been swimming in her clothes, while hurricane winds blow branches around me. Is it really Spring?! I actually can’t see much towards the end as rain has flooded my eyes. Eventually back home, of course there are now brilliant blue skies mocking me. In the shower my body feels so battered I don’t know if the water is cold or hot, it’s an extreme temperature either way. But do you know what, I am actually refreshed. My kids are happy to see me, my husband is impressed with my commitment and I am justified in eating more chocolate. Never thought I’d be one of those ridiculous people running in the rain with a smile on my face but that’s what being a full time mum to three young kids does for you. Not to say I would do it every day mind.

The rest of the day involved record amount of chocolate and sweets consumed. I put up no resistance (pot calling kettle and all) and as a result a lot of fun was had. Inevitably bedtime was a somewhat hideous ordeal. Both wired, Max running into wardrobes, jumping off his bed. Ella wanted someone ‘alive’ to stay with her as she couldn’t sleep, her doll just wouldn’t cut it. Ella then felt sick, Max had the runs, Mummy just wanted wine. All in all? On reflection it was a great Easter, same again next year and can’t wait.

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